So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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