Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
