Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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