he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
