Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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