she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize