the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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