You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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