I showed him my bush... on skype.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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