Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
