Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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