doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
