If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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