I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
