i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
