Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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