it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
