I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
