There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
