its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
