Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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