dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
