I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
