I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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