fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize