Where did you get a picture of my penis
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
