Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He is an equal opportunity slut.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
