You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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