i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
