I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
