So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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