Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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