what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this is an emotional support booty call
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
