im drinking this country out of the recession.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
