If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
