and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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