I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
