her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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