I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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