too bad you live with your parents still
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
