went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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