I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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