His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
