I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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