just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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