I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize