I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
