i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
