Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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