I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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