First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
