Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize