Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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