We're facebook friends in real life
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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