hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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