I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
