She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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