life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
