It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
