you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
