even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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