Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
