so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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