I bet he comes in French.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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